


a new dawn

by chattoyant



Series: Ash and Eiji deserve to be happy [1]
Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Banana Fish Fluff Week 2019, Fluff, Healing, M/M, New Year's Fluff, New Years, Romance, eiji and ash spend new years together, the boys finally get to be happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-10-02 04:32:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17257625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chattoyant/pseuds/chattoyant
Summary: “With you,” Eiji repeats after him as he brings the corners of his lips into the sweetest of smiles. If time can stop right there and then, Ash wouldn’t mind at all if it meant spending eternity gazing at the person whose eyes held the depth of the entire universe.After being released from the hospital, Ash lives with Eiji in Japan and spend their first New Year's together.





	a new dawn

**Author's Note:**

> hi!!!! this is my first time writing fluff for the banana fish fluff week (or general fluff for that matter) so please forgive me for any mistakes i made or if i didnt make it flufy enough!!! :')
> 
> have a happy 2019 and i hope you enjoy reading this fic!! <3

Today is one of those days where the world is so peaceful and strangely uneventful. Those days that seem to go by without anything bad happening that it would take nothing more than the drop of a needle on the ground to break the illusion of silence.

It has always been like this for Ash. When the world seemed to be kind to him, it took what it gave him the moment he expects it the least. Ever since Golzine picked him off the streets and subjected his life to torment no child should ever face, he put all the silly notions of hope, dreams and freedom away. There was no place for it in his world. Not in Golzine’s world, for that matter.

He didn’t believe anyone.

Not in God, not in himself, not in anyone.

Not since his own father turned a blind eye to the horrible things that was done to him. For a moment, Ash accepted the fact that he will never get to live the way others do, enjoy the simplest of life’s pleasures like they do and love and be loved like they do.

It all changed when Eiji came into his life.

Eiji, with his endearing stubbornness, his warmth and his kindness.

Eiji, with his weird-smelling food, his heavy accent, his constant mom-like nagging for Ash to eat on time and not to stay up too late and who flew all the way to the US just to bring Ash with him to Japan.

Eiji, who also happens to give him a flick on the forehead to break him out of his musings.

 “Hey Ash, are you even listening?” Eiji huffs as his sister stands behind him giggling.

“Ow that hurts!” He rubs his hand against his forehead. “Give me a break, I just got out of the hospital!”

“I’m much more delicate than I look,” he grumbles.

Eiji clicks his tongue before his lips curl into a smug smirk.

“Maybe you should have hurt your head instead, you idiot.”

“A-Anyway!” Eiji’s sister, whose name he learned was Saiko, interrupts. “Mother was saying if you want to wear a kimono for hatsumode,” she says in an English apparently better than her brother’s.

“You can borrow my dad’s,” Eiji says. “Mine would be too short on you.”

“Yeah, I can imagine,” he laughs.

“Anyway, what’s hatsumode?”

Ash had just come to Japan a week ago and has difficulty in picking up Japanese with his quote on quote ‘godawful American accent’ as Eiji would say after spending two hours of his day on teaching him Japanese.

 “To start off the new year, we visit the shrine and say our prayers for blessings to come our way.” When Eiji curls his lips into that sweet, warm smile Ash feels as though he’d already been blessed. “Then after that, we go to a park and eat the first meal of the year while watching the fireworks display!”

When Ash pictures the image in his head, just he and Eiji, staring out at the explosion of colors in the dark sky, he finds himself blushing. It’s almost something straight out of a cheesy romantic movie.

His mother says something he can’t understand Eiji chuckles at but once he makes out the words ‘Ash’, ‘eat’ and ‘healthy’, he gives Eiji a pout.

“Growing boys need their nutrients to be big and strong after all.” Eiji ruffles his hair playfully.  

“I’m taller than you,” he jabs smugly.

Eiji clicks his tongue.

“Hmph. Don’t be surprised if I put natto inside your bento.” He draws his hand away and folds his arms in front of his chest.

“Right, right, _onii-chan_.” He snickers.

The height difference between them gives him a reason to lean down and tilt his head when they would kiss. And then the world around them would go silent, with the only sound they could hear the quiet music of their heartbeats.

When Ash’s face burn as bright as the surface of the sun, he finds himself being a love-struck teenager for the first time. 

 

“Do you like my brother?”

Ash nearly chokes on his spit as Saiko busies herself with putting the kimono on him.

“W-What do you mean?” He asks. Was he really that obvious? By like, does she mean like or like _like?_

“Exactly what I meant,” she snickers as she straightens out the creases in his kimono. No wonder Eiji is so smug. It runs in the Okumura family, apparently.

“I’ve seen the way you look at him,” the look in her eyes soften now to something kind and fond. “And the way he looks around you too.”

Ash knew perfectly well of how they felt for each other despite there being no words to say them outright and yet, hearing it from someone else, from someone who means so much in Eiji’s life was something.

“You know, before he went to America, he was really depressed. Has he ever told you that?”

“Well…he did say something about having an injury that ended his pole-vaulting career.” When he remembers Shorter being around to listen to Eiji about it, his heart aches.

“Yes, pole-vaulting was his life.” Saiko nods. “He told me that he loved doing it because he said he could feel what it’s like to fly.”

Ash’s thoughts wander back to that day they escaped from Marvin where Eiji took that rusty pipe and flew over the wall. For those few short seconds, he remembers his eyes transfixed on his form floating against the blue backdrop of the sky and thinking, _‘Ah, this must be how angels fly.’_

“When he got that injury, he lost his ability to fly.” Saiko ties the sash around his waist, careful of the stitches at his side. “My father is sick at the hospital.” The girl purses her lips tightly. “Day by day he only gets weaker and weaker.”

“ _Nii-chan_ loved pole-vaulting because of the feeling it gave him. He told me that when he flew, he felt like…how do you say this?”

“Weightless?”

“Yes, weightless.” She nods her head wistfully with a look that seems to be beyond her years. “When he flew, he felt like nothing was weighing him down, that he could touch the sky and be free and forget about the problems that worry him.” She fastens the sash into a knot.

“When he lost his ability to fly, it was as though the problems he was trying to forget had caught up to him because he wasn’t high up in the sky anymore.”

“But you know.” Saiko looks up at him and curls her lips into a smile. “Ever since he came back from America, he has never looked so happy.”

“I was curious as to what it was that made him so bright and happy. At first, I thought it had something to do with his work as Ibe-san’s assistant but then…”

“When I saw the light in his eyes when he talked about you, that’s when I realized.”

 “My brother always took me for an airhead but he doesn’t realize how observant I am of other people,” she chuckles as she drapes and overcoat over his kimono.

“This is my observation, Ash Lynx.” Saiko gives him a playful smile. “And it’s that he loves you.”

Her declaration immediately smacks him in the face and leaves his heart melting into a sweet, goopy mess at it skips a beat.

“So let me rephrase my question.” Saiko clears her throat as she steps away from him.

“Do you _love_ him?”

 

When the clock struck twelve, everyone busies themselves with heading to the shrine for hatsumode. With individual lunch boxes wrapped in cloth matching everyone’s kimono, everyone is set to go. Saiko and her mom look beautiful dressed in matching red and black kimonos. Ash wonders how long it took to put it on judging from the complicated knots their sashes made on the back.

On the other hand, Eiji looks stunning dressed in a simple dark blue kimono with his hair brushed off to the side. 

“I question your fashion choices, Ash,” Eiji chuckles as he looks at Ash’s feet. Where everyone wore traditional wooden sandals, he wore his red converse.

“It’s too cold out to be wearing sandals,” he says in defense as they walk side by side to the shrine. When their hands brush briefly, he feels a spark of electricity run through his spine. “Well, that’s only half the truth though.”

“Hm?” Eiji’s big brown eyes glisten with interest as he looks at him.

“These shoes have gone through a lot. They’ve been with me all the time throughout the things that went on back when I was in the US.”

“Well naturally, they’re on your feet, after all!” Eiji laughs as a matter of fact.

“Well, there’s that too.” Ash laughs along with him.

“It’s just that…” When he looks down at the scuffs and scratches on his worn-out shoes, he can’t help the fond smile that finds its way to his face.

“They remind me of how far I’ve gone but most of all…” When his eyes find themselves drawn towards Eiji’s, he thinks of drowning in those deep caramel pools and never coming back up to the surface ever again. 

“They remind of how we went through them together.”

When the slightest of blushes creeps its way into Eiji’s cheeks, he finds himself wanting to hold them in his hands and kiss each one of them.

“When you put it that way…” Eiji’s lips curl into that soft, sweet smile that never fails to make his heart believe that angels are real and that Eiji Okumura is one of them. “I guess I can see why you keep holding on to them,” he chuckles.

 _“And why I keep holding on to you too,”_ he almost finds himself saying.

After walking for a while, the four of them find themselves in what Eiji said is the _kagura hall_ of the Shrine. Hanging below the heavy wooden roof is what Ash could only be described as the largest and thickest rope he’s ever seen.

“That’s called a _shimenawa_ ,” Saiko supplies. “It’s a sacred straw rope. This one here in Izumo-taisha is the biggest in Japan.”

“What’s it for?” He finds himself gazing in awe at how long it must have taken to make it, let alone hoist up something as heavy like it to the bottom of the roof.

“It’s to ward off evil spirits.”

“I should’ve gotten one for myself back in the US.” If his chuckle comes off as bitter, Saiko doesn’t notice it.

“Why, are there evil spirits in New York too?”

“I guess you could say so.” When he turns his head to look at Eiji, the smile on his face turns sad.

With a bit of walking, everyone finds themselves lining up in front of the shrine box to pay their respects. There are already a lot of people to begin with, and it didn’t help when Ash attracted the attention of two girls who walked his way and promptly shoved themselves in the line between him and Eiji.

“Excuse me, but you shouldn’t cut in line.” Eiji tries to call out the attention of the girls but they’re either too busy gawking over Ash or ignoring him on purpose.

Ash couldn’t understand what the girls were saying to him, nor did he care. Not only are they standing too close to him for comfort, even one of them has he arm wrapped around his.

“ _Ano…_ ” he tries to brush the girls off of him. “ _Hanashite kudasai_.” Please let go of me.

The girls remain giggling beside him, probably making fun of his awful accent while the one holding onto his arm tightened her hold.

“ _Shitsurei shimasu_.” When Eiji shoves himself between the girls, Ash makes a mental note to thank him later. When the girls have excused themselves out of the line, Ash sees a hint of something like possessiveness when he briefly narrows his eyes at them before returning his gaze towards him with a smile.

When he reaches the front of the line, he turns to Eiji.

“What should I do?”

“You bow slightly,” Eiji stands beside him to demonstrate. “Then you toss a coin into the box and ring the bell two or three times to tell the gods that you have arrived,” he gestures to the rope hanging by the bell.

“Then, you bow twice and then clap your hands twice as well and pray.” He brings his hands together. “Then you bow deeply once and let the person behind you take their turn.”

“Okay.” Ash takes out some coins and tosses a five-yen coin into a box. He rings the bell twice, bows, claps his hands together and closes his eyes to pray.

_“God of this shrine, I know I’m not Japanese but I hope you can still understand my prayer. I don’t need much. All I ask is to be with Eiji for as long as I live. I want him to be happy too. I want him to realize how much he’s touched my life and see just how strong and beautiful he is. That’s all I ask.”_

Ash opens his eyes and then gives a deep bow before letting Eiji take his turn. He wonders if Eiji is praying for the same thing too.

“What did you pray for?” Eiji asks him after everyone has had their turn.

“For you to grow at least an inch,” he snickers playfully.

“That’s not fair.” Eiji sticks his tongue out as Ash and Saiko laugh at him.

“How about you? What did you pray for?”

“To learn how to call 911 instead of sitting around in a library.” Eiji nudges him at his good side.

“You’ll never let that slide, will you?” Ash sighs as he presses a hand to the slowly-healing wound at his side.

“Of course not! You had me worried, you idiot.” He bonks his head just to show him.

“Ow, cut it out!” He pouts and rubs at his head.

“You have an IQ of 180 but you don’t even know how to call an ambulance,” Eiji huffs like a nagging mother as he crosses his arms in front of his chest.

“Right, right, I’ll put that in mind, _onii-chan_.” He wraps an arm around his shoulders and gives him a little pat. When Eiji leans into his touch just a tiny bit, he swears he can see his heart rocketing out of his chest and exploding into the sky.

 

 _“Minna,”_ Eiji’s mother calls out. “ _Kocchi_.” She gestures to space on the ground clear of snow.

After the blanket and the lunch boxes have been set, everyone tucks into the food lovingly prepared by Eiji and his mom.

“This has natto in it,” Ash’s nose immediately wrinkles in disgust upon opening his lunch box.

“I told you so.” Eiji smirks smugly at him as he sticks his chopsticks into his lunch box before taking a bite out of his egg roll. Ash swirls his chopsticks around in the stuff with a slimy squelch before dangling it hesitantly before his mouth.

“ _Maybe it isn’t so bad the second time,_ ” he thinks to himself before putting the natto in his mouth and finding out that no, it tastes just as weird as he remembered. He can’t help the shiver that runs through his body when he swallows it.

“You should have seen the look on your face,” Eiji laughs between mouthfuls of his food. “You look like a baby that wants to go to the bathroom!”

“What’s that even supposed to mean?” He pours himself some miso soup and washes down the taste of natto down his throat. Even that too, didn’t sit very well with his taste of McDonald’s chicken nuggets and orange-flavored Fanta. It will take some time for this white boy to get used to these new flavors.

“Hey, mom and I are going to buy some grilled squid first,” Saiko says. “Get along while we’re away!” She waves as she and her mother walk off to the stalls. Ash swears he can see her smirk before she abruptly turns away.

And then, it’s just the two of them.

Ash and Eiji.

Alone together and sitting two inches apart from each other because they are most definitely gay and unsure of how to express how they feel towards each other.

Ash pours himself some water and swishes it around in his mouth before gulping just because. When Eiji pours himself some water too, Ash’s heart vacates the confines of his ribcage and takes residence in his throat.

Ash puts his lunch box down and places the lid on top of it. Eiji does the same too.

“So…” Ash starts. “Nice weather we’re having, huh?”

“Ash, it’s freezing cold.”

“Oh.”

For what seems like an eternity, the both of them stay silent as they look out towards the star-studded sky hanging high above them.

After what a long drawn-out silence that seems to go on forever, Eiji breaks the silence when he inches himself ever so closer towards him until their sides touched. When he finds the both of them are blushing, Ash’s heart melts all the more when Eiji smiles at him.

“The moon look really pretty tonight, doesn’t it?” When Eiji leans against his shoulder, he immediately stiffens upon contact before letting himself relax and wrapping and arm around his shoulder.

“Yeah. It does look pretty,” he curls his lips into a faint smile when Eiji shifts ever so slightly and wraps an arm around his middle.

“Did you know that Izumo is written with the characters for ‘out’ and ‘cloud’?”

“Nope.”

“Izumo is the place where all the gods came from in myth.”

Well that explains how Eiji has that power to him that calms everyone around him just with his presence.

“A long time ago, this place was thought to be sacred where the gods lived out of the reach of mortals. Sort of like an untouchable cloud high up in the sky.”

Ash hums in understanding. “I see.”

“Now that I think about it, Izumo is sort of like you, Ash,” Eiji chuckles.

“Why’d you think so?”

“People always saw you as someone to look up to. A leader, a guide, someone whose skills are unmatched by anyone else. You led your own gang at such a young age and learned to protect yourself and those around you. That’s what I saw you as at first back when I didn’t know you just as well as I do now.”

“I’m no divine cloud, Eiji,” Ash chuckles as he wraps his arm and little tighter around him. “I’m fog. I’m right down here on my place on the ground where I can stand with you.”

“You’re no fog, Ash.” Eiji removes his weight from his shoulder and takes his hand tenderly in his. “If you were, then you’d slip out of my grasp the moment I touch you.”

“I guess it felt like that those moments I couldn’t see you but…” He links his fingers tightly with his. “Now you’re here with me.” Eiji’s smile becomes muddled mess of colors as his eyes grow heavy with tears. “And you don’t slip through my fingers when I touch you.”

“You’re you.” Ash’s cheeks begin to grow wet and warm with his own tears as his heart feels overwhelmed with love he never would have thought someone like him would ever feel in his entire life. “You are Aslan Jade Callenreese.”

“You are the certainty that the sun will always rise no matter what.”

“E-Eiji…” His breath comes out in soft, ragged sobs as his eyes flood with tears. Somewhere, a firework goes off but he doesn’t bother to look at the sky when the look in Eiji’s eyes are a beautiful interplay of light and color in themselves. Maybe if his eyes weren’t so blurry, he could spot and name the constellations in them.

Eiji, _Eiji_ wraps his arms tightly around him and brings him close for a warm embrace.

“It’s alright, it’s alright,” Eiji soothes him as he runs his fingers gently through his hair. “Let it all out.”

And so he does.

He lets out all of his pain, all of his anger and all of his sadness through his tears as he cries into Eiji’s shoulder.

“Eiji…”

After all this time, after all those years of blood, crime and suffering he can finally let himself breathe again. For all this time, he always thought his life would always end the way he ended the lives of many others. It wasn’t that he did it because he wanted to. Back then, it was kill or be killed. The world he lived in, the world he abandoned and tried so hard to put behind him, it was a matter of survival of the fittest. Where he was weak, he had to be strong just to see another day. But it didn’t mean that he feared death back then. To him, the possibility of death in his world was as inevitable as the sun setting at the end of a day and yet, when Eiji came into his life, he never wanted to live more than he ever has in his entire life.

He wanted not to survive, but to _live._

Eiji was— _is_ his salvation. His chance at redemption to live a life away from all of the suffering he was thrust into by forces out of his control.

“Eiji, Eiji, Eiji…” Ash cries out his name as he buries his face against the crook of his neck. People could be looking at them for all they care but didn’t matter. Not when Eiji, his light, his life, his _love_ is within his reach.

“Eiji…” He curls his fingers into a tight fists against Eiji’s clothes and holds onto him tightly as if it will bind his soul to his forever. “Please stay with me.”

“Just for now?” Eiji chuckles as he runs soothing circles against his back.

Ash laughs softly despite the flood in his eyes.

“No, forever.”

“Forever.”

Eiji takes his face tenderly in his hands as the eyes of an angel looks at him with all the warmth and love in the world. When Eiji presses his lips against his forehead, the warmth of his kiss seeps underneath his skin before settling itself in his heart where it will remain forever.

“Hey Eiji…” “How do you say ‘I love you’ in Japanese?”

“ _Aishiteiru.”_

“I love you too.” And just like that, he winds his arms tightly around his neck before bringing their lips together for a kiss. When Eiji stiffens, he feels as though he’d crossed the line far too soon but then he wraps his arms tightly around him and relaxes into the kiss.

Ash hears fireworks go off in his mind.

“I love you, I love you, I love you,” he breathes out between the small gap separating their faces as he tastes the words rolling off his tongue. If anyone looks their way, it doesn’t matter the slightest bit to him. 

“I was always wondering when you would say that,” Eiji laughs before leaning towards him shyly to return the kiss. “It’s like you weren’t crying on my shoulder just a while ago.”

“Come on, give me a break!” Ash laughs softly before taking Eiji’s face in his hands. When he peppers his face with tiny butterfly kisses, Eiji giggles. “I’m just…so happy.”

“Me too, Ash.” When Eiji’s eyes glow when he smiles, it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen in the entire world. “We’ve been through so much together.” He takes his hand in his and presses it against the warmth of his cheek.

“I’ve always wanted to be with you. Far away from the past, where you can live in a world where there’s no need to use a gun just to get by day by day.”

“It’s all so surreal,” Ash laughs softly as he runs his thumb tenderly against the side of Eiji’s cheek. “After all that we’ve been through together, I’m finally here.”

He tucks a stray lock of hair behind his ear.

“With you.”

“With you,” Eiji repeats after him as he brings the corners of his lips into the sweetest of smiles. If time can stop right there and then, Ash wouldn’t mind at all if it meant spending eternity gazing at the person whose eyes held the depth of the entire universe.

“I love you, Ash.”

He burns the sound of his words into his mind so it will leave an imprint on his heart. Finally, after all the pain, all the suffering he’s been through, he’s found one person who truly cared for him without ever asking anything in return.

Growing up, the only love Ash ever knew was his brother Griffin and ever since he passed away, that love has been taken away too. And yet right now, right in front of him, is the love he never thought would find ever again in his life.

“Let’s be together for the new year and the next, and for other years to come.”

The sun hadn’t risen yet and yet everything is as warm and bright as it can be.

When he gazes into Eiji’s eyes, he sees a new dawn ahead of them—bright and hopeful and certain like the sun rising at the beginning of each and every day.

“Aslan.”

**Author's Note:**

> i think ash and eiji deserved better than that whack ending :')  
> we all do  
> and what better way to make them happy than to let them spend new year's together and be sappy lovestruck boys?
> 
> if you wanna talk to me or scream with me abt banana fish, you can always find me on twitter [@chattoyant_zee](http://twitter.com/chattoyant_zee)


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